New Ninja Column Appliance on the Market!

Thoughts and feelings getting in the way of your every day life? New from the Heart-and-Soul Remover 4000.

Your new Heart-and-Soul Remover 4000 will turn your body into a living robot and automaton without thoughts, feelings, desires, wants or any of that other bull shit that those lesser humans have! Now, you can compete with robots and automatons around the world.

But wait–order just ONE Heart-and-Soul Remover 4000 and get a FREE–that right, folks, FREE–waste bin. This waste bin is made with the highest quality dura-plastic ware on the market. Once you’ve rid yourself of your heart and soul, you can use it on all the other trash piling up in your every day life.

See how easy is washes out? Not a bit of that heart and soul residue left. Don’t you just love technology?

And, see how much other garbage it holds? What an amazing and efficient method of cleaning–your new robot self will love it!

You can have this Heart-and-Soul Remover 4000 for just three easy payments of $9.99. Included is the FREE waste bin.

Sick and tired of having anything bubbling in your chest at all? Just remove with, with the new Heart-and-Soul Remover 4000 by

But wait. If you order in the next fifteen minutes, there’s FREE shipping! Supplies are very limited, so order right away. Our number is 101.1110.0101.0011.00111.1. Again, that number is 101.1110.0101.0011.00111.1.

Not sure if the robot life is right for you? Check out these FREE definitions!


 [roh-buh t, -bot]


a machine that resembles a human and does mechanical, routine tasks on command.


a person who acts and responds in a mechanical, routine manner, usually subject to another’s will; automaton.


any machine or mechanical device that operates automatically with humanlike skill.
[aw-tomuh-ton, -tn]
noun, plural automatons, automata


a mechanical figure or contrivance constructed to act as if by its own motive power; robot.


a person or animal that acts in a monotonous, routine manner, without active intelligence.


something capable of acting automatically or without an external motive force.

Wow! Just look at all those amazing skills you gain! You had better hurry. We just sold seventy-nine more units in the time it took you to read this.


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