Ninja Column–Alien Sighting?

This just in.

A local news network, the Ninja Column, was the victim of a cyber assault Wednesday night when enemy ninja clans infiltrated the server bunkers  and uploaded a virus into the system.

The virus, code-named WHOOPSIE, or whopping-hot organic oligarchical peanut-stretching independent effervescence, created several posts and comments which were violent, repugnant and deadly in nature.

Ninja Column Tech and Analyst Ninjafrk77 says that “this is the worst attack we’ve seen in years. I survived 2014’s Florida snow blizzard, but I’ve never seen anything like this.”

Local authorities are still scratching their heads as to who could have been the cause. Police chief Allen Warrant did not wish to comment, but later called the newsroom to with a confession:

“We suspect alien activity. With the increase in space pirate sightings, there’s bound to be some space pirate ninjas thrown into the mix. Probably just some hooligans that didn’t have anything better to do, but we have are best men on it, just in case.”


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