What Pansies and Introverts Have in Common


Absolutely nothing. The pretty flower (viola, mind you) was just to get you here.

And before you go saying, “well pansy = introvert,” you just better shut your mouth before I grab my lead pipe or my crowbar or my pressure treated two-by-four and show you just how bad of a headache these “pansies” can give you.

I had a really mean flame written on this subject already, but since the heat of that moment was long ago, I will save it for a rainy day instead. Really, I am just expounding upon what has already been written in an attempt to spread the education just a little further and to, hopefully, learn more about it myself.

Sometimes I find myself thinking something like, ”All you dadburn extroverts out there need to take a couple of Valiums and chill the hell out for just a minute while I try to explain this just one more dadgum time.”

In good ol’ southern english, ‘we just ain’t like you.’

I want to say that extroversion/introversion isn’t quite so black and white, but any particular person is somehere on the scale. I am on the far end of introversion, and that’s the end I’m really talking about.

We are the ones who have to struggle with this whole idea of others (a.k.a “extra-extroverts”) trying to conform us to a preconceived image of how a person is supposed to socialize and interact with other human beings. We don’t fit the status quo; we don’t operate with the same convictions; we don’t just “go with the flow,” and we stick out pretty badly at times and it seems like we are just being assholes; I get that. But we really aren’t (most of the time), and what you think must be going through our heads really is a world apart from what actually is, and there’s nothing wrong with us–we really aren’t some silent psychopathic creeps intent on cutting you up into little pieces in your sleep (well, not all of us, anyway).

We are the counterweight to our extrovert-dominated culture. We are just different, and we are supposed to be that way. I’d appreciate it if you would stop trying to tell me that there is something wrong with me. Because there’s not. If it ain’t broke, don’t break it. Or, something like that. Unless you want me to get my two-by-four.

You introverts–you don’t have to pretend to be extroverted just because the push of the world outside you is toward extroversion. You cannot cease to be what you are, and the sooner you realize that, the sooner you will stop fighting against yourself. If they keep pushing you, I’ll give you some advice. A great old saying that my friend taught me was “fuck ’em and feed ’em fish heads.” So, fuck them, and feed them fish heads; I wont be using fish, myself. But I will be carrying around my sixteen-pound sledge, the metaphorical equivalent in my part of town.

Actually, you know what? Other people can explain it better than I, so I will let them.

Definitely read this:


If you still don’t get it (you don’t), then read through each of these.

How to be Friends with an Introvert

How Not to be a Dick to Your Introvert Friend

And there you go. Now you “get it.” (Maybe).

And by the way–I really do love pansies. And two-by-fours, sledges, pipes, bats–you get the idea.


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